whiskey girls
by AtLoLevad
Summary: karen and sarah come home wasted from a girls' night out and frank is amused


Max's ears perked up and he poked his head over the back of the couch. Frank looked over from the armchair and blinked a little lazily.

"What's up, boy?" he asked, closing his book and holding the page with his index finger.

Max wiggled his butt and drooled on the back of the couch, still alert and at attention, staring at the door to the apartment. Frank sighed - sometimes Max thought he smelled food and it usually turned out to be nothing.

"Sit down," Frank rolled his eyes and turned back to his book. Max turned his head and looked at Frank with what could only be described as an expression of disbelief. The dog much preferred Karen since she indulged his more excitable moments.

"Aw, stop that," Frank waved his hand at the dog. Max yipped a little at Frank and then turned his head back to the door. Frank rolled his eyes and ignored the dog's weirdness.

Not two minutes later there was a muffled thump from the hallway, as if something or someone had bumped into the wall. Frank stuck a piece of paper into his book to mark his spot and dropped the paperback onto the coffee table. He stood up from the chair - not exactly worried that there was danger in the building, but a little edgy, nonetheless. His fingers twitched at his side, but his gun was locked away in the safe in Karen's closet.

"Stay," he commanded Max, voice a harsh whisper. He edged slowly towards the door, frowning at another loud thump - this one closer than the last. He reached for the doorknob and jumped back as Karen and Sarah Lieberman fell into the apartment, laughing loudly and clutching each other.

"Kare?" Frank blinked at his girlfriend, chuckling a little once the surprise wore off.

Karen looked up at him with glassy eyes and beamed. "Fraaank!" she dragged his name out and wobbled a little. "What're you doing here?"

He rolled his eyes affectionately, "I live here, Kare. You two had a real good girl's night, huh?"

Sarah nodded so much she looked like a bobble head. "Didn't know Jessica could drink that much," she slurred, squinting at Frank. "Did you always wear glasses?"

Frank swiped the reading glasses off of his face and pocketed them. "No," he said shortly. "Did you two really attempt to drink Jessica Jones under the table?"

"Nooooo," Karen shook her head unconvincingly. She gripped Sarah's hand tightly as she tried to kick her shoes off. Frank raised an eyebrow in amusement as he watched her struggle.

"Good, 'cause that woulda been stupid of ya," he teased. After watching Karen struggle for another minute, he took pity on her and Sarah and gently nudged both of them onto the couch. "Sit," he pointed and both drunken women dropped limblessly. Max shuffled from his side of the couch to flop onto Karen's lap. She absently stroked behind his ears.

Sarah leaned over and patted Karen on the shoulder. She attempted, but failed to whisper, "We totally coulda out drank Jessica."

"Sshhhhh," Karen fumbled around to cover Sarah's mouth. "Frank thinks we're sober."

Frank snorted to himself and finished pulling off Sarah's boots. He set both pairs of shoes down by the side of the couch and shook his head. "You two need some water," it wasn't a question, but both Karen and Sarah protested.

"No!" Karen grumbled, "I already peed seven times at the bar. I don't need water."

Sarah burst into uncontrollable giggles at the memory of Karen constantly getting up to wobble to the ladies' room in the bar. She turned to Frank and said seriously, "She peed so many times."

It was harder this time for Frank to smother the laughter that bubbled up in his chest. He choked out a cough and covered his mouth so the two women wouldn't see his smile. He'd never seen either Karen or Sarah this drunk and he was almost tempted to send David a video of the two of them - they were drunkenly stroking each other's hair and mumbling about how much they loved each other.

"All right, ladies," Frank rubbed his hands together. "Time to call it. Karen, go change and I'm gonna drive Sarah home."

"No, no," Sarah protested. "Kids can't see me drunk! I'll lose cred-crebi- they'll stop listening!"

"Sleepover!" Karen shouted, grinning wildly.

"Alright," Frank laughed. "Sleepover. Go on, get changed. I'll call David an' let 'im know."

He reached down and let each woman grab a hand so he could pull her to her feet. Karen and Sarah swayed gently and then gripped each other's elbows and tottered down the hall to the bedroom. Their loud giggles tapered off as the door shut behind them.

Frank leaned against the wall as he called David. Those two were trouble sometimes.

"Frank?" David sounded mildly curious as to why he was calling. Usually Frank avoided phone calls with people not named Karen Page like the plague. "What's the matter?"

"Nothin's the matter," Frank replied. "Just wanted to let you know Sarah and Karen are back."

"Oh, good," David said and Frank could hear the relief in his voice. "I was getting kind of worried. Are you driving her back or should I be on the look out for an Uber?"

Frank chuckled. "I'll drop her off in the morning. She an' Karen are gonna have a sleepover."

"A sleepover?" David repeated, confused.

"Yeah, a sleepover," Frank confirmed. "The two'a them are plastered. Sarah didn't want the kids to see her drunk."

David laughed in his ear and Frank couldn't help but crack a small smile. The situation, when explained out loud, did sound absurd.

"Okay," David said finally, "Whatever she wants to do. I'll be in charge of a hangover curing breakfast. You and Karen gonna stay?"

"Not sure," Frank scratched the back of his neck - he wouldn't mind staying since he missed Leo and Zach, but it all depended on Karen's hangover. A burst of laughter penetrated the closed bedroom door and Frank winced - she'd definitely be feeling it tomorrow.

"I'll make extra waffles and bacon," David decided. "Since you're probably going to end up staying."

"Make sure there's coffee," Frank replied.

"Naturally," David laughed. "Tell Sarah I love her, but don't think about kissing her again," he teased.

"Fuck off, Lieberman," Frank growled and hung up the phone. He dropped the device to the kitchen counter and headed for the bathroom, intending to grab a bottle of Advil for the girls. Max trotted along after him happily, tongue lolling out of his mouth. Frank looked down at the dog and shook his head, "Let this be a lesson, Max, no drinking."

Max barked as if he agreed with Frank and licked his owner's ankle. Frank shook his foot, sending Max scampering back into the living room. Frank grabbed the bottle of painkillers and stuck his head into his and Karen's bedroom. "Kare? Sarah?"

Karen and Sarah were a tangled pile of limbs on the bed and at the sound of Frank's voice, both of their heads popped up from under the covers.

"Frank! Baby!" Karen beamed at him.

Oh brother - she was definitely beyond wasted. Karen never called him baby.

Frank smiled softly, "Okay ladies. Time for Advil and sleep. David's making waffles for breakfast tomorrow."

Sarah's face melted into a goofy smile. "Oh David! He's so sweet. I married such a sweet man! He makes waffles! He can't fix engines like Frank, but he can fix my laptop after I spill wine on the keyboard."

"He is so sweet!" Karen gushed, reaching out to hold Sarah's hand. "He always tops off my wine without me asking!"

Frank shook his head and rolled goes eyes. "Alright, we established that Lieberman is sweet. Now c'mon, you two need to get some rest."

"No! It's so early," Karen protested. "And we're not tired."

"It's a sleepover, Frank!" Sarah said, like that should explain everything.

"Sarah, I'm not sure what that means," Frank sighed, long-suffering and tired. It was late and he'd been Pete Castiglione for a long time now - late nights didn't hold much appeal to him anymore. Unless of course they involved Karen wearing nothing but a smile.

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be in the cards for tonight, so he just wanted to sleep.

"There's no sleep at sleepovers!" Sarah informed him smugly. Karen echoed her agreement and pulled the blankets over their heads, effectively hiding from Frank.

"Then what happens at sleepovers?" Frank asked patiently. Lisa hadn't been quite old enough for Maria and him to be okay with letting her have sleepovers at her friends' houses. To be honest, even if she had been old enough, Frank wasn't sure he'd have listened close enough to remember what transpired.

Karen poked the top of her head over the covers and blinked slowly at him. "The best boyfriend in the world gets snacks for us to eat while we don't sleep?"

She looked adorable while she asked, so Frank found himself nodding slowly. "What kind of snacks?" he asked, amused.

Karen stuck her head under the covers again - presumably to whisper conspiratorially with Sarah. Frank crossed his arms and waited, leaning against the doorframe.

"Good snacks!" Karen replied suddenly, popping out from under the covers again. She gave him drunken puppy dog eyes and a little pout and Frank was sold. His lips spread into a slow, affectionate smile.

"Yeah. I can make good snacks happen. Try'n relax," he said turning for the kitchen and tapping his palm against the doorframe. He could hear their giggles as he walked away and couldn't help but smile at their antics. Max looked up from his spot in the dog bed as Frank came back into the kitchen and started rummaging though the fridge.

"Karen's a nut," Frank told the dog, smiling and shaking his head. The fridge was fairly well stocked - since he had moved in with Karen, Frank had made it a point to cook dinner more often than they ate takeout. He didn't want to start cooking something though, not when it was so late. Frank poked around some fruits and vegetables and found the different cheeses and Italian meats they had bought at a tiny Italian deli in Brooklyn ("Like damn hipsters," Frank had complained. "Hipsters with good taste," Karen had shot back with a smile.).

Ignoring Max, who was now nudging Frank's ankle with his wet little nose since he had smelled food, Frank set about grabbing a large plate and two knives. He started slicing salami and pieces of cheese.

"Who woulda guessed I'd be here, making a cheese plate on a Saturday night for my girlfriend?" Frank asked rhetorically. He shook his head in amusement and thanked God that David's security cameras didn't cover the kitchen or have sound. He finished putting the snacks on a plate and took it into the bedroom.

The girls were laying flat on the mattress, heads tilted together as they whispered. Frank didn't want to know what they were talking about - especially not after he heard his own name whispered a few times. He cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Snacks!" Sarah grinned excitedly, drunkenly struggling to sit up. She and Karen jostled each other, eventually sitting up. Frank laughed - they were slumped over, leaning entirely on the other woman. Both of them looked a little worse for wear - smudged eyeliner and mascara, rumpled and tangled hair - but their glassy eyes were bright. They were definitely having a good time.

"Eat up and then try and get some sleep," Frank instructed, handing Karen the cheese plate. His hands hovered for a minute, making sure she had a good grip on it before drawing away. He didn't go far though - just standing to the side of the bed as Karen and Sarah nibbled away.

"Frank, you make good snacks," Karen said seriously, mouth stuffed full of salami and goat cheese. She gave him a wide, uninhibited smile and Frank felt his own mouth curve into a smile. She was so damn loveable.

"Get some sleep, sweetheart," he said, taking the nearly empty plate back and kissing the crown of her head. He leaned his free hand down on the mattress and kissed Sarah's cheek, "You too, Sarah."

They both wrinkled their noses at him, obviously displeased with his bedtime edict. Frank raised an eyebrow at the pair of them and smirked a little when it worked and they pulled the blankets up to their chins and curled so they were face-to-face.

"We're ignoring you now, Frank," Sarah said faux-haughtily.

"Mhm," Karen echoed. "You're no fun, so you get ignored."

Frank, thoroughly amused by the adorable pout on Karen's flushed face, schooled his features into an expression resembling sadness. "Well, okay. I supposed Max an' I will hit the couch."

He held his hand out and Max - curled into a ball on top of the blankets over Sarah's feet - jumped off the bed and trotted after Frank.

* * *

Frank was standing at the kitchen counter, brewing what was sure to be a necessary pot of coffee when Sarah shuffled down the hallway.

He had to smother a smile at her appearance - hair sticking up every which way and make-up smeared all over her face. "Mornin' Sar," he said, using one foot to keep Max from rushing Sarah for affection.

She let out an indecipherable response and sunk down onto the kitchen chair. Her head thunked down onto her arms and Frank laughed when she let out a pitiful moan.

"Feelin' rough?" he asked, pouring the fresh coffee and settling the mug on the table as quietly as he could.

"I'm never going drinking again," Sarah moaned, her voice muffled by the table.

Frank chuckled - he'd believe that when he saw it. Sarah tentatively sipped at her coffee, keeping her eyes shut tightly against the sunlight streaming in through the windows.

Karen came stumbling into the kitchen a few minutes later, eyes squinted and hands out so Frank could give her a mug of coffee. He did so automatically, without having to say a word. She drank the black brew, leaning against Frank's chest for support. His arms wrapped securely around her waist, keeping her upright.

"Did I do flaming fireball shots with Jess last night?" Sarah asked suddenly, scrunching up her face as she ran her tongue over her teeth.

"Mhm," Karen hummed, her cheek pressed against Frank's chest. One hand was wrapped around her coffee mug and the other was clutching the back of Frank's shirt. "And Trish almost burned her eyebrows off trying to join in on the next round."

"Oh god," Sarah laughed. "I think I'm too old for girl's night."

Karen could only nod.

Frank laughed at the two of them. "Or you could go out and not try to keep up with Jess. That's a risk even I wouldn't take."

"Just stop judging and feed us," Karen sighed tiredly, lightly swatting at her boyfriend's chest.

"Get in the car then," Frank's hand gently brushed the curve of her ass. "Lieberman's makin' waffles."

At the mention of her husband, Sarah perked up, "Waffles? Oh, god bless that wonderful man."

She downed the rest of her coffee and headed for the couch so she could pull on her boots.

"I refuse to put on real clothes," Karen said seriously, her eyes twinkling despite the hangover.

"Good thing it's just David and the kids," Frank replied. "Don't think formalwear is required."

"Plus," Sarah piped up, "Sunday mornings are lazy mornings in the Lieberman house. We end up staying in sweats and watch TV most of the day."

"I'm sold," Karen grinned. "Lazy Sunday at the Lieberman's! Let's go, Frank."

Frank gave a long-suffering sigh, but there was a small smile on his face as he followed her and Sarah out the door. Halfway down the hallway, Karen turned and shot him a sweet smile.

He smiled softly back - yeah, he'd do anything, including Lazy Sundays with Lieberman, for that smile.

* * *

 _A/N: Hi all! I've had this written for a while, but I was saving it because I knew I wouldn't have a lot of writing time this semester and wanted to have some stuff saved up to post._

 _Meanwhile, I just realized that the last Kastle fic I posted featured Drunk!Karen too, which was a total coincidence lol_

 _As I suffer and drown in my last year of law school work, please please drop me a review and let me know what you think!_


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